The Way I Used to Be: The TikTok sensation

This book!! Oh my goodness it's fantastic. I got invested so fast and I couldn't stop reading it. I really love all the characters, especially Eden. I really love Josh too and I love them together. They support each other so deeply, they care about each other so much. I cried so many times while reading, I was afraid I was going to stain the book with my tears. And it was a library book. I cried even more when the book ended, I really wanted Eden and Josh to be together. So guess my reaction when I learned the second book is coming soon??? Feral. I can't wait to read that one so bad. I love this book so much, I had to buy my own copy. Can't wait to reread it again and cry myself to sleep.

“I always promised myself that if only someone would ask, if someone would only ask the right question, I would tell the truth.” What a frustratingly, beautiful and heartbreaking book. Eden is sexually assaulted by her older brother's best friend when she's just 14 years old and this book covers her high school years following the assault. This book HURT. Eden was frustrating, annoying and yet... I adored her. She pushed everyone around her away, she slept in a sleeping bag on the floor of her bedroom for years, she used casual sex to ignore her trauma. She makes awful decisions that are difficult to understand. She is not an easy to character to love. There was something heartbreaking about her thinking that no one would believe her for the last 4 years. Even when other women came forward, she still didn't think anyone would believe her. The book lost a star as I felt that her relationship with her family was not explored or explained, and it felt weak in comparison to the rest of the book.

Reading The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith was an absolutely gut-wrenching experience. There were so many moments when I felt like I was screaming at Eden—begging her not to lie, not to push people away, not to make the choices that were clearly leading her deeper into pain and isolation. But that’s what made it so powerful: I felt everything. I was right there with her, in her spiraling world. I’ve never been so immersed in a book, never felt so close to a character that I could actually see a part of myself in her. Amber Smith’s writing is extraordinary. Her prose is raw and honest, and she doesn’t shy away from the ugly or uncomfortable parts of trauma. She gives Eden a voice that is both heartbreaking and fierce—so layered and human. Smith writes emotional pain with a kind of intimacy that feels almost too real at times, like you’re reading someone’s diary or inner monologue. And yet, it’s never gratuitous. It’s purposeful. She captures how trauma after sexual abuse can completely distort someone’s sense of self, of safety, of connection—how it becomes all-consuming when you don’t have the support you need. What’s especially brilliant is the way she writes her characters. Eden is not always likable, and that’s the point. She’s messy, angry, self-destructive—and so real. Her pain manifests in ways that are frustrating to witness, but never once did I doubt her. Smith doesn’t sanitize trauma, and she doesn’t simplify healing. Every character interaction—whether it’s her strained relationship with her family, her drifting friendships, or the flickers of connection and intimacy she finds—feels true to life. Even the secondary characters are written with nuance, often showing how complicated it is to love someone who’s hurting. Coming toward the end of the book, I felt like I was there. Like Eden’s voice was my voice. There were no moments that felt forced or cringe—just pure, unfiltered emotion that rang with truth. The writing was so realistic and immersive that I forgot I was reading fiction. And by the time I turned the last page, I had goosebumps. I was crying. Amber Smith did an incredible job showing the long-term impact of trauma and the desperate, sometimes destructive ways survivors try to cope. It’s one of the most emotionally honest books I’ve ever read, and it will stay with me for a long time.

Could contain trigger warnings however helped me heal myself a little was relatable. Very well constructed plot

Personally I’am not a massive reader, I dip in and out. However I devoured this book in two sittings! I really liked how it didn’t overload you with random information at the start it just dove straight in. It also remained gripping the entire book which stopped me from leaving it. Definitely would recommend.

I really liked this book overall, it was really a rollercoaster of emotions, i think the biggest downside is that the main characters sctions just make you so stressed but i find it really conforting that she made the right choices at the end.

This book is everything, deals with a very sensitive subject but also I feel that this book is necessary for those who have experienced what it feels like to hide a huge secret from the world, and for those who have pushed their own self destruct button. You know it’s a good book when it stays with you long after you finished reading it. I wanted it to end differently but I know there is a sequel in the works so I imagine some unanswered questions will be revealed in the second book - top drawer reading.

I honestly wish I could read this book for the first time again!! I read this book in a day, every free moment I had I was reading. The story! OMG!! The story! So beautifully written, so powerful and so sad, although I had tears streaming down my face I was also smiling towards the end because of the feeling of Yes!!! You can do this! And just feeling like I’m watching someone get their strength and their life back! I have already recommended this book to so many people and I really came wait for November for the second book to come out, I have pre ordered and I’m counting the days. If your thinking about This book, this no more and just buy it. Can’t wait to read this book again and annotate. Thank you so the author for this amazing story I’m so grateful to have read

i read this book almost a month ago and it's still on my mind! the way i used to be touched me in so many ways. to see Eden not only lose her relationships with her friends&family, bcs of what happend, but most importantly LOSE HERSELF just tore my heart out of my chest. to see the indistinct changes she went through that were such an subtle cry for help but that nobody near her noticed made me so angry and sad for her </3 she. deserved. better. it was honestly surreal how Josh noticed something was up WAY before anyone else did. i loved the fact he was the one she ended up confiding in. he was exactly what she needed in that moment. i just started sobbing when Eden said: "i had been waiting for thee years for somebody, anybody, to say those magic words" after Josh asked: "did something actually happen?": this girl just needed somebody to simply ask. but sadly it's never that simple. i'm honestly glad that in this book she and Josh didn't end up together. she's in need of a friend atm and i'm happy he's okay with being one and doesn't pressure or guilt trip her into something more. BUT nevertheless i'm super excited to see what ,the way i am now' has in store for the both of them!! i'm def rooting for them🩷 i would 100% recommend this book to everybody !!!! BUT !!!! look up trigger warnings pls

Broke me. So much. And I loved every single page

The book is good...good for those girls who went through a lot in their teenage...just go for it...<3

Cried my eyes out. Would recommend.

- REVIEW IN ENGLISH AND FRENCH - 🇬🇧 English review : A monumental slap in the face! This book was absolutely magnificent from start to finish. During the 4 periods that this book covers, we get to know Eden and ESPECIALLY how much she suffers and lets herself suffer, we just want to give her a huge hug until she meets Josh who acts a bit like her saviour. This was a really poignant story that had me in tears for the very last few chapters. I recommend but watch the TW just before you start reading. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ STARS 🇫🇷 French review : Une claque monumentale ! Ce livre était absolument magnifique du début à la fin. Pendant les 4 périodes que ce livre couvre, on apprends à connaitre Eden et SURTOUT à quel point elle souffre et qu'elle se laisse souffrir, on a juste envie de lui faire un énorme câlin jusqu'a ce qu'elle rencontre Josh qui agit un peu comme son sauveur. C'était vraiment une histoire poignante qui m'a fait pleurer durant les tout derniers chapitres. Je recommande mais regardez les TW juste avant de commencer la lecture. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ÉTOILES