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Product Description ------------------- Johnny Depp and Rob Morrow star as two sex-starved teens out for the adventure of their lives in this outrageous Spring Break comedy filled with sand, surf and skin! Jack (Depp) and his buddy Ben (Morrow) check in at a posh Florida resort, planning to spend every hour in hot pursuit of gorgeous babes. But their plans hit a major detour when they try to bed the wife of a conniving jewel thief (Hector Elizondo). They'll have to outsmart him, a nasty security guard and an obnoxious jock if they're ever going to get a moment alone with the girls of their dreams! .com ---- Bikinis, s, and Johnny Depp's bare bottom are the selling points of archetypal teen sex comedy Private Resort. The plot has the purity of haiku: Two horny young men (Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean, Edward Scissorhands, and Rob Morrow, Northern Exposure, in his film debut) doggedly pursue scantily-clad women at a tropical vacation spot. Standing in their way are a bitter hotel detective and a jewel thief known as the Maestro (Hector Elizondo, Pretty Woman)--though his cl of mastery seems an overstatement; anyone expecting To Catch a Thief or The Thomas Crown Affair-style suavity will be sadly disappointed. Babes are ogled; s are exposed; bald middle-aged men are mocked as buffoons; and both Depp and Morrow strip naked, revealing pale iors--and, in Depp's case, a scrawny physique that would mortify any contemporary teen star. While this can't be called one of Depp's more nuanced performances, his trademark bemused nonchalance is already present in larval form. Ironically, given Depp's later reputation for soulfulness, Morrow is the sincere one who yearns for a sweet young waitress, while Depp is the cad who runs after anything with s (he refers to quaaludes as "the love drug" and "falls in love" with a girl who bends over in front of him in an aerobics class). Also featuring Andrew "Dice" Clay (The Adventures of Ford Fairlane) and Leslie Easterbrook (beloved from the Academy series). Discriminating cineastes will be happy to hear that Private Resort has been letterboxed, so the full frame of every can be fully appreciated. --Bret Fetzer