Life in the Loop: Essays on OCD

It’s not uncommon to notice our mind wandering as we slice up vegetables for dinner. For Matt Bieber, that moment of noticing—seized by his obsessive-compulsive disorder—risks sparking a blaze of anxiety. Has he cut himself? Has he mindlessly tweaked something in his hands, making them more prone to injury? The kitchen, benign a moment ago, becomes “the site of a thousand old worries, all blooming into new and vigorous life.”As Life in the Loop vividly illustrates, Matt’s OCD only needs a crumb to kick into gear. And its appetite is largely indiscriminate, flaring up as a result of choosing between two t-shirts, spotting slightly misaligned teeth, putting on his glasses. It colors his relationships and ambitions. Every part of his life seems susceptible.There’s nothing unconsidered about the way Matt animates OCD in these stirring essays. He describes its architecture—intrusive thoughts, propelled by fear; rituals that aim to relieve anxiety, but usually amplify it; blanketing, groundless guilt, for failing to extricate himself, for having the thoughts in the first place. And he frankly depicts it at work in certain rooms, partly by recreating ticker tapes of his internal distress. Life in the Loop also employs a wider lens at times, discussing, say, OCD alongside types of religious experience and practice.Regardless of Matt’s focal point, his voice is grippingly searching, contemplative, incisive. Though OCD can strip Matt of control off the page, he displays deft command on it.

The essays in Life in the Loop helped me see the world more clearly. Like most people, I've heard about OCD, joked about OCD, had friends and family that mentioned their struggles with OCD but never understood it at all. I watched Monk on TV and thought that it didn't seem so bad.Bieber comes at the struggle of OCD from various directions in the different essays. Taken together, a real sense of understanding develops. Clearly a smart guy, he covers both the rational and the emotional aspects so well. I felt like I was walking in his moccasins for a bit. It's a tough walk.One aspect I found particularly fascinating was the struggle with memory...with understanding what actually happened vs what the hyperactive brain created. I have one good friend with OCD that I consider a man of integrity, yet some of his statements were unbelievable to me. I couldn't believe he'd be lying to me nor could I believe his story. Through Bieber's essays, I understood that middle ground where my friend thought he was telling the truth.I highly recommend you read this book, take some time away and then read it again. You'll gain empathy and insight...and who doesn't want that?

This collection of essays is a necessary and, at times, heartbreaking read. Necessary because it is a courageous and honest description of living with a disorder that is often misunderstood or reduced to trite comments or jokes. Heartbreaking because of how Bieber, with such raw honesty and deeply personal stories, describes how OCD can get in the way of living a joyful life. He explains how his study of Buddhism and his meditation practice have helped him manage the disorder. Bieber's writing is incisive and downright beautiful at times. The "Twelve Fragments" essay is one example of the beauty in Bieber's prose. There is sensitivity in his writing and in his view of his condition that surprises, considering how much turmoil OCD creates in his life. Anger or resignation over having to deal with it day in and day out would be understandable, but that's not what you get here. These essays reveal a man deeply in touch with his condition and with himself.

Unnerving, interesting, and masterfully written. Required reading if you or a loved one suffer from OCD; fascinating even if you don't. Bieber chronicles his struggle with OCD in revealing and accessible detail, going deep on the particular strain of "pure O" obsessive OCD from which he suffers. Along the way he treats us to some interesting excursions, relating OCD to Buddhism, politics, and more.Even if none of that interests you, read this book for the writing alone. Bieber writes with a distinctive, supple prose that he shapes to fit any nuance, seemingly without effort. He can make a page writhe describing an excruciating battle with an obsession, but then there are moments where he basks in smooth sweetnesses.I recommend buying this book to learn about OCD from someone exceptionally able to take you into the experience of having it. Or just to enjoy the writing.

Matt Bieber's writing in this collection is utterly earnest and personal. For people with any types of suffering, the salvage lies in close attention to the details of daily manifestations of the struggle. Life in the Loop provides that. It also brings in wisdom from the author's own research and reflection during his graduate program at Harvard, culminating in a part-memoir part-graduate thesis on OCD. The collection helps me imagine life in another body, which is a reader's relief and a writer's accomplishment.Working as a teacher for high school students, I am going to have this book on the resource list for when students consult me with their own struggles with mental health, especially OCD.

This is an astonishing book. When I started reading I was just very interested in the subject matter-- but it's way more than that. It's FUNNY. It's beautifully written. It's so human. It gets at such exquisite personal detail. The author's ability to describe what it's like inside the OCD mind exceeds what I thought possible. And, my favorite part-- well, I have a few favorites, but this one especially-- was reading about when he was a wrestler in high school and actually masturbated to lose an ounce of weight. Can't make this up!!! Get this book. You won't regret it.

This book is an invitation into the labyrinth of an extrovert's man living with OCD.It will take you to places you never visited in your own self. it will make you laugh.I sense I am in the presence of a curious, original and exceptional mind.