When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times Paperback – June 7, 2016

The saying, “The path is the goal” can seem obvious while seeming inobvious. Pema skillfully takes us on a journey blending the obvious and the inobvious to eventually align us along the path that is life and hence the goal. May I recommend that you read this book and, should there be any remaining confusion, read it two more times.

Learnt many things and perspectives that I would never have thought about. I can say that I'm one step closer to enlightenment

The media could not be loaded. When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön is a profound and deeply comforting book that offers timeless wisdom for navigating life’s most challenging moments. Whether you’re dealing with personal loss, emotional turmoil, or existential uncertainty, Chödrön’s gentle guidance helps you find peace and clarity amid the chaos.What I Loved:• Compassionate Wisdom: Chödrön writes with an incredible sense of compassion and understanding. Her insights are drawn from Buddhist teachings, but they’re presented in a way that’s accessible to anyone, regardless of their spiritual background. The book feels like a warm, comforting presence that reassures you it’s okay to feel vulnerable and lost.• Embracing Uncertainty: One of the central themes of the book is the idea of embracing uncertainty and impermanence. Chödrön teaches that it’s precisely in our moments of discomfort and fear that we can grow the most. This perspective shift is incredibly empowering and can help you face life’s difficulties with more resilience and grace.• Practical Advice: Beyond the philosophical and spiritual insights, the book offers practical advice for dealing with difficult emotions like fear, anger, and sadness. Chödrön encourages readers to stay present with their feelings, rather than running away from them, which can lead to deeper healing and understanding.• Meditative Quality: The writing itself has a meditative quality, with short chapters that you can read slowly and reflect on. It’s the kind of book you can pick up and put down as needed, making it a perfect companion for tough times.• Universal Relevance: Although rooted in Buddhist philosophy, the themes of the book are universal. Chödrön’s teachings about love, compassion, and acceptance are relevant to anyone going through a difficult time, regardless of their beliefs.

This book’s title caught my eye at a time when I felt like things were falling apart for me. I’ve long been open to the teachings of Buddhism and so I thought I might find some insight, even comfort, in Ms Chodron’s words.And I did, but this is not a “hand-holding,” “feel good” book. It’s blunt in its view of life as, I suppose, Buddhism tends to be. The feel of the whole was, to me, “suck it up and soldier on.” But do so with the insights of Buddhism and an enlightened point-of-view. And so when facing one of those inevitable times when we are losing it all, we can find an understanding of what we’re feeling when Ms Chodron says:"We react against the possibility of loneliness, of death, of not having anything to hold on to. Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth."She illustrates this by describing a pivotal moment in her life when things fell apart. In her youth, her husband left her and she felt that loss of her whole world with anger and fear. But out of that experience she found Buddhism, a new life and a new vocation. She eventually became thankful for the experience, and that is a major theme of the book—the idea that life is all beginnings and endings. If we can understand that, and accept it, we can go a long way in coping with the bad times.Fear is what we’re trying to cope with in those bad times. As she stated in the above quote, we are afraid of loneliness, death, and aimlessness. She asks us to understand that at the start of the book, and then goes on to offer insight to help us deal with it. She states what her whole book is about when she says:"What we’re talking about is getting to know fear, becoming familiar with fear, looking it right in the eye—not as a way to solve problems, but as a complete undoing of old ways of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and thinking."I could go on and on with such quotes—there are so many quotable passages in this book. Also ideas that have helped me. Such as that things are just not what we think they are; we really don’t know anything and so we must be careful in our judgments, even judgments as to what is good and what is bad (see chapter 1). Because we never know how things will turn out.When in emotional pain, people tend to return to those places they’ve found comfort in the past. There are times, though, when those places fail us, or don’t offer enough comfort. If you’re at such a place, then this book might be of help. It is likely to be, if you can understand and accept the basic cause of our unhappiness according to Buddhism. Ms Chodron states it as:"Thinking that we can find some lasting pleasure and avoid pain is what in Buddhism is called samsara, a hopeless cycle that goes round and round endlessly and causes us to suffer greatly."From there, you can go on to find out what you can do in your life to address samsara. And if you can find, ironically, that chasing happiness does not bring happiness, and running from pain does not eliminate pain, then you’ll be at a point where this book can help.

This book has inspired me on my self-awareness journey. Its full of wisdom. A great read. I highly recommend this book.

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