I Said No! A Kid-to-kid Guide to Keeping Private Parts Private

I love this child safety book so much! Here’s why. For starters, Kimberly King—aka @toughtopicsmom—posesses a beautiful “why” for writing this terrific child safety book. Her son almost fell prey to an abuse situation. A child-on-child abuse situation. It is so important to have books in the world written on the topic of child-on-child sexual abuse because currently, in 70% of child abuse incidents, the “offender” is another child! An individual under the age of 18. "I Said No" is not just a good story. Though it is that. "I Said No" is also a book with benefits. The story is one component. And really terrific resources are the other component. The simple but beautiful artwork makes the book super child-friendly. I love that “red flags”—artistically rendered—are featured throughout the book. Red flags are the quintessential warning signs of our culture! We adults know it, and I think it’s an important “symbol” to pass down to our kids. But King also introduces the idea of “green flags” to indicate situations that are appropriate. She uses both color flags—green and red—to visually communicate to kids things that are safe or unsafe. I love the “sailor motif” that the artist applied. "I Said No" teaches so many important concepts: what privates are, what is consent, who can touch a child safely. King also identifies how a child might feel in a situation where they are at-risk: upset, uncomfortable, scared, lonely. etc.. Another strategy King—a kindergarten teacher—utilizes is teaching kids a format for action. She shows a number of situations and what a child might THINK, SAY, and DO in each circumstance. Finally, you get to Zach’s story: his unfortunate experience at a friend’s house during a sleepover. Because Zach recognizes red flags and has been taught to process situations in terms of THINK, SAY, and DO, his fantastic problem-solving skills save the day. I literally cheered at the end of the book. This is a real live child applying great strategies to keep himself safe. Props to King for including a work-page in the back of the book where children can make a list of safe adults. This is one of the top child safety strategies I hear in the industry today. King also mentions the possibility of family members being unsafe. This is a critical addition to the book. The excellent child safety organization, Darkness to Light, reports that at least 30% of children are abused by immediate or extended family members. If there are kids in your life that you love, I recommend you buy this book for them and read it with them at least once a year. These ideas need to be reinforced regularly as we do with: “Look both ways before you cross the street,” and, “If your clothes catch on fire, stop, drop, and roll.” Well done, Kimberly King, well done! P.S. I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. And a body safety educator in public schools. And a child safety educator out in the world. Plus the author of the child safety book, "The Brave Knight." All to say, I think my opinion on "I Said No" is valuable.

I feel CONFIDENT that my daughter will recognize a dangerous situation because of this book! My daughter is starting Kindergarten, so I figured it was time to start teaching her about the "dangers of the world", but in a kid-friendly and easy-to-understand way. Since there are several books on this subject, I read 4 of them - this one, Your Body Belongs to You, Those Are MY Private Parts, and Amazing You! I Said No! is the clear winner, in my opinion. It was the first one I read, and none of the other 3 lived up to it. At first I thought it might be a little scary, and maybe too long. But I read it to my daughter in one sitting and she LOVED it. It wasn't scary at all! And she looks at it and wants me to read it again. What I like about the book is this - it gives CLEAR examples (though not graphic) for the child including examples of bribes, threats, etc. that someone might use against them and how to recognize them. The other books seemed vague in this sense. It repeats examples of things that might happen and says "red flag!" Tells the child what to say and how to say it "NO! No way!" - Be loud and clear! DO: Get the heck out of there! Tell your mom or dad something happened that was very bad!" The examples are wonderful because it covers so many situations. For example it says: WHAT IFS If your friend, brother, sister, cousin, uncle, aunt, grandparent, teacher, coach, stranger or anybody else...Asks you if they can see your privates or touch your privates...They might say "if you keep a secret I will buy you things!" They might say "If you keep this secret I will be your best friend" - What should you think? What should you say? What should you do? THINK: DANGER, RED FLAG! SAY: "No! No way!" Be loud and clear! DO: Get the heck out of there! Tell your mom or your dad something happened that was very bad." It talks about going to someone you trust, goes through a list of people, and if there is nobody to tell call 911, etc. It literally covers almost every situation you can think of. It tells the child it is not their fault, to tell someone they trust even if they feel funny about it. This book is 32 pages but was not too long for one sitting. I found "Your Body Belongs to You" to be too short, and along with "Those are MY Private Parts" very vague and maybe for a younger child ages 2-3. "Amazing You" only had 1 page relating to keeping your parts private. The rest was very cute with cute drawings, but showed drawings of body parts, and talked about how babies are made and how babies are born, so not really what I was looking for. (It also skipped the part about HOW an egg is fertilized, so I will probably not buy this book when it is time for "the talk"!)

As an advocate for domestic violence and sexual assault survivors, I found this book to be both powerful and essential. It captures the realities families face with honesty and compassion while offering insight and guidance that every parent can benefit from. I recommend this book to all of my clients—it’s one I believe every household should have. The book is simple, kid-friendly, and easy to understand. I’ve read it with my son, and he’s also read it on his own. It’s definitely something our kids need. This book feels like a true labor of love. Thank you, Kimberly, for writing something so deeply needed and beautifully done.

Excellent book. A must for parents.

Es un excelente libro que no puede faltar en tu hogar o escuela, sobretodo porque es basado en una historia real y tiene un texto digerible para niños arriba de cuatro años.

The book is very well written and illustrated! I read it consistently with my children to learn about setting healthy body bounderies. Children equipped with that essential toolbox will make them more likely to not be targeted by sexual abusers. It is very very important. As a long term survivor of childhood sexual abuse myself, I wish I had such a reference when growing up. Thank you Kimberly for raising awareness of this horrible taboo topic!!

Excellent book for all young children! They need to be safe and this book helps parents with that.

Would highly recommend this book. It was very informative without scaring, very child friendly. I got this for my 6 yr old daughter who after many talks still thought it was okay (funny in fact ) to run around the house naked in front of her 9 yr old brother who was getting really embarrassed. Any way to cut a long story short I read it to both children at the same time and both of them have really taken it in better than I could have anticipated and asked lots of safeguarding questions on how to keep themselves safe, and We finally now have some modesty, even I'm getting privacy in the bathroom. The only problem with the book was it was American so used American emergency services number but that was easily explained and adapted. Well worth buying. Mrs Kelly