Open Her: Activate 7 Masculine Powers to Arouse Your Woman's Love & Desire

Karen Brody is an exceptional writer, woman and human being. Through her experiences that she so eloquently put into words to have published, she gave me a lot to learn, digest and become, as a man. When I first read Open Her back in 2015, it was unlike anything I'd ever read before it and it became a segue into an area of relating to women that has changed my life for the better in ways no other book has, ever. When I discovered Open Her, I was in the middle of learning from books like Charlie Houpert's "The Anti Pick Up Line", Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man", Shaunti Feldhahn's "For Men Only", Bruce Bryan's "Attract the Right Girl" and John Gottman's "What Makes Love Last" and while I'd suggest all of those books to any man who is serious about finding and choosing a good woman to be in a relationship with, Open Her has a strong lead on all of them for a couple of very important reasons. Karen Brody touches on subjects very few people talk about. (As it turns out, if you're looking you will find more but only if you're paying attention.) I mean even John Gottman, a leading authority on relationships, doesn't talk about this stuff and it's important! Those subjects include the intimate emotional and sexual dynamic between a man and a woman and how, as a man, to ensure you're continually engaging a woman's desire for you. These are very subtle things that, in my experience, most people just gloss over and even ignore. But you can't ignore them if you want the real thing. Authors like John Gottman are great at helping recover from betrayal and cultivate love in current relationships but he doesn't talk about the process of cultivating desire starting from the beginning of a relationship. Bruce Bryan and Charlie Houpert are great at helping you stay confident in who you are as a man and not letting yourself fall for woman just because she's beautiful and sexy but they could never walk you through what is going on inside a woman's body and mind because they aren't women. In my experience of this book, Karen Brody described the inner workings of a woman's emotional, psychological and physiological responses to a man's actions, behavior, integrity and very being using very personal experiences of her own with men she has been with. It doesn't get better than that. Why not? Because the most confusing thing in existence is women. There is no detailed diagram, manual or map that leads the way. A woman changes her mind from one moment to the next and to a man this is very confusing because she is absolutely convinced, no matter what her momentary feelings, that what she is feeling in the moment is correct. This often leaves men completely at a lose as to how to deal with her. This book provides the insight necessary to pick up the pieces and begin forming a solid framework of understanding of what goes on with women in moments like these but you MUST digest it intently without arguing against it or fighting it in any way. Then, incorporate the suggestions into your life. There were several times I wanted to argue with her on points she made but accepted them as reality and it has made me a better man as a result. What's more is her words very directly, yet with love, tell a man how to step into his own power and reclaim it, something cultural norms have taught men to give up. I can personally attest, over 3 years after reading this book, that it is life changing material. Since reading Open Her, I have taken two months of coaching from her and also taken two weekend workshops that are directly related to the material she presents in this book. I've learned from David Deida, one of her teachers and from some other devout David Deida "followers" and I will gladly continue advancing in my understanding of the insight Karen offers through this book and those other leaders in this hidden field of deep and meaningful relating. This book and the many related resources and experiences I've discovered and been through as a result of having read it have helped me move past my greatest challenges with women that I developed from early childhood parental conditioning. I've dissolved fears that held me back and become very skilled at consciously connecting with women in ways that I would not have been able to without this book. Thank you, Karen for this gift! This review is long overdue. I told Karen a couple years ago that I would write this review. I hope you read this, Karen. :) Some quotes from Open Her that have personally helped wake me up to the reality of a woman's experience and how to be the sort of man that quickly and easily engages a woman's desire include: "A woman wants to know deep in her heart that she can inspire you. She wants to know that her love and presence as well as her wisdom and beauty inspire you to create something of meaning in the world. She wants to pervade you like breath or sunshine. If her love inspires you and moves you to make a difference in the world, she is a success." (p. 64, para 5) "You choose a woman to spend time with , or spend you life with, because she brings a sensibility, wisdom, and perspective you don't have. Your leadership with her is only as good as your ability to embrace her power. No woman will follow your lead if you aren't open to and welcoming of her input. If you use force, criticism, threats, or control, she might cater to you, but she'll never follow you." (p 62, para 6) "When you don't lead yourself and your life or take the lead with the woman you love, you leave a vacuum of masculine leadership. That empty space feels unsettling to a woman, so she will step in. She'll become directional and pointed. She'll make the plans, tell you what to wear, choose your dentist, police your diet. And while you might think this is sort of a nice perk, I assure you she won't want to devour you at the end of the day." (p. 50, para 4)

I feel very different after reading "Open Her". I would even go so far as to say that I was forever changed! As a woman, I was surprised at how much I learned about myself in the pages of the book. I experienced a renewed reverence, celebration and awe for women and the feminine way. I felt validated, seen, released, and loved, as a warmth of recognition of my feminine aspects radiated from the pages. I recognized parts of me that had been trying to man-up to make up for men's lack of strength and clarity, and I felt myself putting the sword down, and desiring to encourage men on their self-journeys to provide a safe place for the feminine to thrive and give back. Through the author's beautiful presentation I experienced a level of worthiness and love for self and other that I had no idea was possible, as she neutralized the stereotypical divisions between the sexes, and made them, instead, beautiful and tangible invitations from one another for understanding and empowerment on the fragile playing field of intimacy. As I read on an on (I couldn't put the book down), there was the sense that this kind of profound union of giving and receiving was not only possible, but ours for the experiencing. I felt a genuine knowing flooding through me that I could ask without reservation for the time and the care of a man awake in the ways the author described in the archetypes; a man who loves and leads with his whole heart to reflect this in me, and that this asking would be supportive to the man's well-being and fullness of being all he is meant and wishes to be. I began to fathom more and more how when men and women show up with all of themselves, with awareness of one another, with strength, wisdom, and an open heart, that there is no limit to healing and deep intimacy that can take place, no matter how difficult it has been. I believe the author has created a bridge between the sexes, and a map back to our natural and authentic selves, that place where our giving and receiving becomes simultaneously our expression of love and our fullness of receiving and being received. The book was unique and appealing and the clarity and the pure power of the writing felt as though I was downloading sacred truth into my cells. There was so much depth in her words, and it just kept getting deeper and fuller-bodied. The examples of men blew me away! I had no idea men could be so beautiful, real, open, and willing to see themselves, and to look upon their loves with new and expanded vision. The author’s work with men and couples sounds absolutely incredible, and I enjoyed having many examples in which the men were directly quoted. How I wished I'd had this information at 20. Now in my late 30's after a divorce and a significant relationship where I was afraid to trust my intuition even though it gnawed at me for suppressing valid concerns that clashed with my own hard-won truths. After reading this book, so much makes perfect sense. I realize that it takes two to tango, and that I am only part of the equation, and that it is a gift when a man decides to know himself through and through and to learn to love with strength and grace. Very thankful for this read.

Revealing and insightful book about men, their masculine qualities, and what women desire in men. The strength of the book is also its weakness. By reading Karen Brody's nicely narrated experiences with men as embodying certain male "archetypes," I was able to see how and why my own various masculine qualities sync with women. This is important information and is worth the price of the book. On the other hand, Karen's interpretive lens is feminine, and her approach to talking about men's qualities is suited to women more than men. I noticed this gulf between perspectives not only in the book, but in the reviews. Women raved over it, and most men gave it a "thumbs up" but with some caveats. Working with spiritual men myself (including writing an upcoming book on the topic), I realize it is important to adapt the writing approach to the way men receive information. I am patient, philosophical, and able to grok a wide variety of complex inputs. Most men want something briefer and more straightforward. This book is incredibly well-written, but also incredibly dense in its demands on the male reader. It hits him from every direction and from seven archetypes each having 3 skills and ways of relating to women for a grand total of 21 major trainings if a man wanted to take on everything that Brody suggests. It reads like a wish list for women, pulling in every desirable or resonant masculine quality of men, drawn from many men, that might satisfy women. Okay, this approach works for a recipe book, when you can try one or two qualities and see how they taste, but men aren't meals and these suggested principles and examples for men become overwhelming when taken together. Imagine a dish to be served at dinner that mixes all the ingredients from the entire cookbook! It would take a typical man a lifetime to develop effectively even one of the seven archetypes in her book. There needs to be some process of discernment in which one of the "what women want" skills from one of the archetypes is chosen, just like a single recipe from a cookbook, and then developed. The woman partner, in turn, may find certain masculine qualities more important to her, and others not so much. One needs to develop both synchronicity and priority in a relationship, and this book does not really help with those levels of discernment very much. Which qualities do I choose to pursue in a customized way? This book could use a companion workbook, that helps simplify and assess this selection and development process. A man cannot be everything to every woman, and this book, by default, almost implies that that is possible. Here are some hints to make the book more guy-friendly and couple-friendly: 1) Your average men will read the first chapter and a half of this book, get overwhelmed, and stop reading. This may be different for the man strongly motivated by "men's studies," or tantric sexuality/spirituality, or who counsels men professionally, but for the everyday man, this is simply a daunting cascade of information. My suggestion for the reader is to read each chapter as a mini-book and simply take one good insight from each chapter or archetype that resonates with what he is trying to develop in himself, share it with his female partner, and experiment with building that up with the book as background. 2) Also, because it comes from the feminine side of the ledger, it comes off as "what women want from men" more than "how men can develop their deep masculine potential for improving relationships with women". This element of implied insistence or demand can get a man off on the "duty" and "burden" track, which is not, I am sure, what the author intends. This tendency to read the archetypes as yet more demands on male performance can be counteracted by trusting the male reader to identify which of these insights resonate most with him and encourage him to develop this insight as a support rather than an obligation of his life purposes and projects IN CONVERSATION WITH his female partner. Which brings up point number three: 3) There needs to be more reciprocity in the approach. What are the ways in which women can actually support the development of these qualities in their men? Again, the book reads like "what men can do for women" without a lot of "what women can do to encourage and support men in trying to be better men for them." Men will, no doubt, awkwardly initiate some new ways of relating as a result of this book. How do women express appreciation and feedback even for the awkward attempts and eventual improvements? Men do need reinforcement, not just a "how-to," even as task-oriented as they tend to be. If their efforts do not hit the mark, they need loving redirection and a cycle of learning, so it won't boil down to "I tried this and it didn't work; I won't do that again." Brody shows mostly the end-product and shares some important points in the end of each chapter to help men get there, but the process of getting there, and the bumps along the way are not really discussed in depth. There has to be anticipated room and humor for failure, a lighter tone and recognition that this information is not some kind of wonder drug but rather an invitation to see and try things in new ways.

I have been at a spot in my life recently where healing my own wounds from an abusive past have been my clear intention. I have already done much work wanting to reclaim my own healthy ideas and beliefs about the masculine in the world ...and yet while there seems to be so many books for women that speak to us about the healthy feminine - i have found it difficult to find this same number of resources that speak to men and women about the healthy masculine. Furthermore, I feel I have read many a books written by men for women on how to be the woman. Yet this is the first book I have seen that is written by a woman for men in a way that both upholds why women are attracted to men and why a man would even consider putting on these archetypes not for women - but for themselves. I have studied and continue to study Her/History and how we got into experimenting with patriarchy as our social structure because of my past of abusive relationships. When I looked at the world around me and the popular approach to abuse - I was disgusted because it really did nothing to go back to the root of the problem...but seemed to continue to paint men as the abuser and women as the victim. I had enough healing at that point to realize this wasn't going to heal any of us - and enough heart of a mother of two boys to commit to a different way of healing the cycle of abuse in my life. Part of that was to realize how wounded men and the Masculine have also been under our experiment in patriarchy. And thus - much in line with Jung's take on women being the "masculine on the inside" - I realized that I needed to heal my inner Masculine ideals and images so I could/can reflect that into the world around me. Yet like I said, it had been hard to find resources and people - esp men around me - like Karen's book in order to do this. I believe this is definitely one of the resources women need in their library - so that those of us who have been so wounded and have deeply engrained trust issues can gently start to let go of projecting our "Otherness" onto the men around us...allowing us to fully own these projections so we can heal. This book allows us to see a new yet old face of the masculine that is buried deeply within our subconscious, resurrecting Him to soften and eventually heal our blaming and hatred of the men in the world. Hearing stories of how men CAN and do move thru healing of themselves and women in their life- it allows us to rewire our own psyche so we can imagine a new way to be in relationship. And that is where all evolution begins - in the imagination. For me reading Karen's stories about the Dark Knight and the Lover, pushed me to my own edge of where I am doing healing in my life and allowed some breakthrus to my resistance. It gave me new awareness of where I have been hiding from the healthy Masculine within me, allowing that resistance to melt within even just imagining myself in the stories she writes about. "How would I have responded to what the Dark Night did that night? What is that feeling that arises in me knowing my own story and what does it want to do, say...or scream at the men around me in an attempts to not own it? Or the Lover? How would I really respond to him? Would I really be ready for that depth? Would I even have that awareness to be even that honest with him?" These stories also have shown me how I have been hiding my voice from even engaging with my male friends...and having me step forward to practicing this edge in the safety of these male friendships. For I also once heard from another wise woman that we can always be practicing the type of lover we want to be even with our friends so that these skills are not new and awkward when we do partner. I could go on about what Karen's book has Opened in me as a woman...yet need to go be with my boys. I pray that you will find her words and stories helpful as a woman, so you can find healing and pass that balm onto the men in your life. For I believe women have the power to change the course of history- as I believe once before - when we move thru and out of our victim mentality and fully own ourselves, our responsibility to/for ourselves - as the healthy archetypical Patriarch teaches us to do. And I believe men can change the course of history, as they soften their bodies and allow themselves permission to know it is safe now to feel while doing it in their masculine way that doesn't kill the polarity between themselves and women - but increasing it. I pray that you my dear brother will Play around with your own personal flavor of these archetypes - so the whole world will start to slow down, feel and heal. We need to work together on this, to be the bridge and books like this help us understand how to get that bridge built.

Brilliant. I'm a sucker for a good archetype discussion, anyway, but this book is a step above. As a woman, I resonated quite soundly with a lot of what is written here, as it offered much clarity in honoring what I desire and value in opportunities for intimate relating. I recently went through the heart-rending breakup of a long-term relationship, and this book offered an amazing amount of insight and validation regarding what happened during the years I was with my previous partner. For me, the material is healing because it helps me further distinguish what was mine to address and control and what was truly his own journey and not under my influence in the slightest. In my particular case, the chapters on The Director and The Dark Knight were familiar enough to bring tears... because I see so clearly how my partner's inability to claim his masculinity appropriately in those areas created so much resistance in him that it literally poisoned other areas that were once not problems at all (for example, being unable to see or accept my true intentions... and being unable to engage his own Artist, Poet, or Sage). While the title is "Open HER," I found a lot to chew on as far as the reasons why a MAN might close himself to a woman, and many of those reasons are of his own making. This is not to place blame on him unnecessarily, as men have been socialized in ways that, frankly, can be emasculating. I applaud Brody in working with men to overcome this socialization to help them claim their full, healthy masculinity, which in turn helps us women claim our full, healthy femininity. I will be sharing this book with my new love, who is thankfully eager for the hand-off now that I'm done reading it. One word of "warning:" in reading this book, I have a feeling that there is potential for knee-jerk reactions to some of the generalizations that Brody makes therein. I do appreciate her clarity in emphasizing distinctions between worn stereotypes and using archetypes to examine our deep inclinations and desires. I fear that there is a lot in this book that will be taken out of context, devoid of these explanations and clarifications, to discredit the material. I haven't seen such in these Amazon reviews thus far, but should they appear, I would recommend that readers review ALL the material and thoughtfully digest what the author is really saying. One brief example on page 171 (The Lover): "When you don't demonstrate confidence and sexual leadership, and you let a woman lead, a woman's sexual attraction for you dies. So while you're trying to be Mr. Nice Guy and pretend you're not chasing her tail, she's fantasizing about a guy who won't take her crap and crumble at 'no.'" Without a thorough reading of the material, you may infer several incorrect assumptions regarding what the author is saying. You may think she is suggesting it's okay for a man to force himself on a woman sexually, which she is not. (Later on the same page: "You can't force a woman to have sex with you - obviously - at least not morally or legally. Your having a choice has nothing to do with disregarding hers. Your choice is characterized by how you choose to think and feel - and also how you choose to respond to her choices. This is precisely what distinguishes a sexually powerful man from a not-so-sexually powerful man.") You may assume the author means that a woman never wants to take the lead in sex, which also is not true. From discussing sex to discussing making plans, the author stresses that the leadership women tend to appreciate has nothing to do with oppression, dominance, or insensitivity to her opinions and desires. She points out multiple times that following a man's lead often inspires a woman to co-lead or partner with her man in ways she would not have been able to do without his initiative. She asserts time and again that women are capable of leading themselves - and others - and happily do it all the time... but when we are forced to lead a man in a relationship, usually because of his passivity or failure to take responsibility for himself, there will be a consequence as far as desire for him is concerned. My own thought is that there are also consequences in terms of manipulative relating tactics... it encourages women to attempt to dominate and control their partners, out of fear or frustration - or even practicality... and Brody alludes to this in the book as well. One thing I think she gets right in this regard: women do not appreciate repeatedly being forced into the lead - it causes resentment, and we don't feel cared for. I might have disputed this before my last relationship, as I'm a strongly independent woman with quite a bit of "yang" energy and have no problem taking the lead. After years of living with a passive man, I see how true it is. So the advice I offer is to read the material thoroughly - don't skim. Brody does take the time to present her ideas clearly and thoroughly, but if you take things out of context, you're going to get a very different idea of what she is suggesting, which could actually prove destructive. Good news is that it's an easy, enjoyable read, so it shouldn't be an issue unless you have terrific problems with lack of focus or reading comprehension.

I was raised Christian with like NO instruction in sex or relationships except to wait till I was married. I've been married 5 years and just recently discovering the world of tantra. Many of the ideas resonate with me and give words and explanations to my emotions and reactions to my husband. And give me clarity to his words and actions. This book isn't about tantra specifically but she does mention it. I'd say this is a precursor to tantra. Preparing the mind for taking on such a practice with love and pure intentions. This book was not what I initially expected when I purchased it but so much more than I expected. I LOVE this book and have been telling many people about it. I know it's written for men but I (a woman) was crying and laughing and underlining stuff on every page as I read through it. Like I said I was raised Christian (still am, but also Torah observant) and read lots of book on "purity" and marriage and even some about sex, all by Christian authors and they really only scratched the surface of the depth of sex and relationships. They left me feeling bad for being a woman who REALLY liked sex. Since I believe sex is a creation of God I feel the liberty to explore the furthest reaches of what it can be, within the "confines" of a loving commited marriage relationship. Christian "sex Ed" book just made excuses for men and women in relationships. They didn't bring much clarity and they shied away from deeper subjects to not offend uptight people who might call the book "un-Christian" if they had. Anyway Karen did an amazing job pointing out important aspects of masculinity and how they unwrap the feminine. I found myself tying all kinds of connections to the nature of God and His bride. I believe that the marriage relationship was created to be a shadow picture of His redemption story with His bride Israel. When Karen talked about women hold men to every word they speak and how men should not hold a woman's word to as high of a standard I was laughing SO MUCH!! It was so funny! And reminded me of how God made a covenant with Abraham, He walked through the animals cut in half which meant that He(God) would take the punishment if the covenant agreements were not met. Typically in such a covenant the weaker party would walk through the animals to say that if they didn't keep their end of the deal "may they become like these animals" which was DEAD. I believe life and all its processes point to Gods redemption story and I'm realizing more and more how much the natures of men and women reflect the nature of God and His bride. Anyway my point is basically... You need to read this book.

FAR BETTER than a hundred superficial self-help books. You'll find true wisdom in OPEN HER. As I read it, I could feel Brody's many truths, striking resonant chords in the archives of my memory. By viewing my past through these male archetypes, I could clearly see the patterns that happened over and over, even with my long-ago "girl troubles." Amazed am I. And humbled...but also delighted that such profound, practical insights into the deep masculine could be expressed so beautifully, with so much love & wisdom...BY A WOMAN. Thank you SO much, Karen Brody, for loving men and masculinity enough to pursue this work. Good will toward men is rare these days...and so are gifted writers like you. My only regret: I wish I could've read this 30 years ago. My life would've been so much happier. ONE QUESTION: we see "your woman" so often in the book...but for the sake of single men (like me) I must ask: will these practices HELP US to ATTRACT A WOMAN and build a thriving relationship, using these awesome archetypal energies? ("Well, duh," he says. "No doubt!") I can see how conscious use of these archetypes would be a huge help during dating, especially on first dates. I already surmise: 1.) be fully present and truly SEE the woman 2.) offer sincere, specific, credible compliments 3.) have a good date plan, take charge and execute smoothly, but be thoughtful, considerate & courteous 4.) take her somewhere special (maybe amazing) that she might not go herself 5.) be impeccable with my word and build trust with every step 6.) OWN my sexuality and feel it, but don't push it; 7.) be confident on the inside, kind and peaceful on the outside 8.) employ my meditation skills to hold a deep inner peace, at appropriate times, and 9.) LISTEN to her with 100% focus, don't interrupt, but ask open-ended questions to draw her out further...and prove I'm truly interested. All of this gives me much-needed confidence. Since my wife died several years ago and now, at age 63, the idea of dating again is VERY intimidating. SUMMARY: Gentlemen, this book will teach you something amazing. The very best way to love a woman--and ensure a happy life together--is to stay absolutely true to your deep, masculine nature. To live by this truth is the greatest gift you can give to the woman you love. Ladies, if you want your man to understand you better, this is the best, most practical book I've ever read on the subject (and I've read a LOT of books.) To the author: my deepest thanks for including the term "warrior" as a positive, empowered dimension of the deep masculine. As a Vietnam vet who was shamed and vilified for my service for decades (often by the liberal, peace-loving feminists I was trying to meet & date) your keeping faith with this honorable term...means more to me than I can say. Your work helps to make the world a better place for all of us.

This book is a quick read with some entertaining relationship examples, mostly from the author’s own life, supposedly. Karen ripped right through these archetypes like a hot knife through butter. Obviously, their magnetism wasn’t enough to keep her “open” to them. But, I digress. As others have noted, this is a book that essentially says that, yes, women are emotional and changing their minds a lot, and expect men to protect them, worship their beauty, keep them entertained, provide them with sexual experiences they desire but never knew they desired. Apparently, women need to be led by a masculine man who is both independent enough to make her pursue him, but dedicated to her every desire. She admits this is unfair, but the cost of doing business with women. In the real world I inhabit, most men and women in relationships get by and learn to accept each other, or get a divorce. Some men, and some women, complain about not having enough satisfying sex as their relationships age. This may be for a variety of reasons, exacerbated by poor communication. The author spends most of the book attributing this to the man not being archetypal enough in one of her seven magic ways. The advice is to pick one or more of those archetypes and become the man to recaptivate “your woman”, and of course, have better sex. Implicit in all of this is that the man needs to change to become the man of his woman’s dreams, but he’s supposed to do this with integrity, not just to please her because then she’s resent him. He has to mean it and convince her he means it. But, suppose he just wants a better relationship with his partner and his integrity requires that he not really become one of those archetypes? He’s just an engineer who mows the lawn. My own experience is that women exhibit some of the qualities and desires that she describes, but the archetypes are fantasies that they don’t realistically expect of a real partner. Much of what bothers women in relationships is lack of engagement in practical everyday issues, like housework, social planning, spending personal time, appreciating what they do within the relationship. Most of that can be fixed without becoming one of those archetypes or fundamentally changing your nature. It may just mean listening a bit more and taking on a few not-so-exciting burdens. Will that get this couple more and better sex? Not necessarily. Maybe one or both partners is done with that. Or maybe that problem requires some basic communication on just that front. Once hormones no longer drive the sexual bus, the impetus needs to come from the brain. That may involve fantasies or adjusting a few behaviors, but most of those don’t require a restructuring of one’s day-to-day personality. If the couple’s sexual history just consisted of letting hormones push them together, it’s easy for this to go dormant. The poor guy who tries to remake himself to rekindle his marriage is going to be disappointed. If he’s really unhappy being who he is, then maybe realigning himself to be happy will help his marriage. But, this goes for both partners. Maybe “his woman” needs to get happy, too.

This book is great, it really helped me to understand myself and look at what I do everyday. I feel like I was honestly almost 75% complete as a man, but this book showed me I actually had a lot of dark aspects in play all the time. That in turn allowed me to really focus on getting myself together just that last bit and in turn it's really helped me to turn around my marriage. My wife use to tell me she never thinks about sex at all, and doesn't see the point of it beyond making babies. Now I get messages during the day telling me she can't wait to see me, can't stop thinking about my penis and how she fantasized now about the last time we made love or the time we made love at X spot. I honestly didn't believe her at first, I even called her a liar and said she was just saying this stuff to placate me. She didn't get mad at me for saying that, she just started to weep quietly and wanted to be held. I didn't run from her at this point, I turned around a faced her. It really hit home then, reminded me of the scene Karen related in the book when she's tied to the bedpost and she breaks down and begs her partner to come back and love her. There is no begging or negotiating or setting dates for sex anymore. A light touch from me, and I'll feel the set of her shoulders soften, she'll put away what she's doing and just melt into me. Or it's a text I get at home something as simple as "love you ;)" while she's working or out with the girls and later I'll be woken up by her pressing herself into me, trying almost to climb into my skin to get close enough to satisfy her. Sex doesn't always happen at these times, but when it does it's so complete and mind blowing every time. 12 years of reading each others little movements and tones of voice and hints and pure love put into complete unconscious coordination for 20 minutes or 2 hours. Now if only I could go back in time and give this book to my 18 year old self instead of getting it at 36!

Absolutely love this book. The archetypes ring very true. And i can see how aplying them will make my woman blossom and make me feel like who i want to be. Now comes the exciting challenge of applying the very practical instructions karen gives. She knows she is talking to men.

This book has provided a huge missing link for me and I sense that the insights Karen has shared will be incredibly important for me and my journey towards wholeness as a man. It has been a challenging book for me to read because it has shown me all of the ways in which I have hidden myself, and sadness at this arose in me, but as Karen says, the invitation is now to set this straight and I have to say that literally within hours of coming into contact with this book my relationships with women have been transformed. Thanks to Karen I have found the strength to push into my edge of fearing initiating contact with women who I am attracted to and I am practicing seeing and celebrating the women I have met that way. As a result I can feel a new depth of connection becoming available. I can see that my challenge is to maintain my integrity and honour what is best for me in relationships. I am really looking forward to practicing how to genuinely connect with women from a place of love for myself and for her. This is a loving and generous book that really seeks to support and inspire men. I have never felt this passionately about the importance of a book or to write a review in this depth. Thank you Karen for your important contribution to my life.

A very good book with 7 manly core points to work upon. A must book for every man on earth

This book is the first one within at least a decade which I read (in fact: listened on Audible) from the beginning to the end, and eventually purchased the paper version. To me this book feels to be transformational, it recalibrates and to a small extent fortifies my basic believings on feminine desires and behaviours. I wish I would have found and read this book thirty years ago as a young adult seeking a partner and wishing eventually to found a family. Crossing the storms of parenthood the book would have been a solid anchor to be reminded of the foundational pillars of connection, desire and love. The pleasantly readable wisdoms from the condensate of personal experience blended with a wealth of coaching experiences makes it a unique treasure. It is food for thoughts, the text needs to sink in, and might suggest changes in attitude for the men looking for a change, which is a long lasting process. The book claims seven archetypes to be the pillars of masculinity and source of feminine attraction. These archetypes are nicely illustrated with life stories mainly around the time when couples meet, to illustrate the foundation of the chemistry. However there is few advice around how avoid the grinding down of the emotional connection in the course of decades of being together and struggling to balance relationship with work and kids, don't expect that, it is not the scope of this book. As the book needs time to digest it is also difficult to find the right moment for a comprehensive appreciation; that moment might be only months or years after reading. Nevertheless, having read this book only recently I still feel like leaving these thoughts to help promoting the ideas, being very grateful to have found my way to this gem.